Watch That First Step

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So, I did it. I took the first step on a journey I’ve been mentally preparing for over the past 20 years:

I signed up for my first vocal coaching session as an adult…

In fact, I signed up for an entire months worth!

I suppose to some this seems so very sudden. Perhaps it even seems impulsive and part of it probably is. But what people don’t quite understand about me is that I’m not nearly so open with my own feelings as I might seem. Sure, sure, I accept you for you. I will share my stories and a drink. I often let things slip out that seem so private… But that’s the thing — I tend to be very bombastic about the things that are trivial, things that can’t really be changed, or things that don’t really affect any true future goals or secret desires. Those more fragile things are kept very close to the vest lest I out myself and tell everyone the things I’m truly afraid to fail at or invite criticism or competition to an already delicate construct.

Well, this is one of those things! As was previously discussed, I have an okay voice. Great some times, mediocre others, but always with the desire to perform. But, for all my bravado, I’ve been scared to actually ask someone who knows right form wrong, how I’m doing and what I can do to improve. The behind-the-back whispers of those close to me about my singing, either being good or bad, have struck me a little harder than they should have… Plus, I was afraid I might have lost any talent I had along with my youth. (Seriously — These gray hairs aren’t getting any shorter!)

So, tonight I will be meeting with a woman who is far too qualified to be working with the likes of me for my first session — And I’m sure it will be great…

But right now? I’m terribly nervous.

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Wish me luck! :D
~H

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