Tiny Plastic Houses

You know, many times in my life, I’ve asked the Goblin King to come take things away right now… I’m still waiting.Honestly, it’s not so much that I’ve asked him to take something away as I’ve asked (begged) him to take me away from it! I remember, as I would sit reflecting on how different I was from all of them, how much they’d hurt me, how insignificant I felt, feeling like there must be someone who thought I was special. There must be someone who could make all this better… Maybe the goblin king?

I was a smart kid. I knew this was not possible. I knew he was just a character. I knew it was only The Bowie in an awesome costume… But that didn’t stop me from hoping, wishing, dreaming that some sort of Goblin King would come, one day, and take me away from this life.

(When your childhood savior is a major permutation of all that is evil and mischievous, what does that say about you?)

I didn’t care if he was pretty (although, if he did look like The Bowie with awesome hair and some permutation of slim-fitting, gothish riding outfit, that would be A-OK with me!), and I didn’t care if he loved me alone… I just wanted to be loved for being me.

But he never came… Never took me away… So, I settled for The J — After being engaged to two other men. (The Goblin King is a very hard act to follow.) But, when I’m very tired or feel very sick or hurt, I still wish (pray) that there is more for me than this. That there is a goblin king waiting for me to just say the right words.

I guess no matter how many goblins you have in your head, it doesn’t make them real.